Strange Bedtime Stories

Illustration & Story by: Elli Austria

By: Disco Ratchet Zi

Case no. 1486422- Melvin Generoso, Male, 10 yrs old is admitted in the center last September 13 2002 and is suspected of having mental disorder, He murdered Smile Generoso, sister of the suspect/patient, test must be conducted immediately so that results may help in the on going trial.

Interview #9 (Doctor Perez and Melvin Generoso.)

Doctor Perez: Tell me Melvin what made you hurt your sister?

Melvin: Serves her right! She busted JV’s face pretty bad so I returned the favor, I hit her with mom’s figurine, I wanted her to tell JV sorry, but she wouldn’t, so I kept on hitting her.

Doctor Perez: Did you know that you hit her jaw which prevented her from talking and all she can do is scream?

Melvin: But I know she’s just faking it! She always does that! She always scream so I will get in trouble.

Doctor Perez: Trouble with whom? Your parents?

Melvin: Its just dad…. He keeps on saying that I should be nice to Smile and let my sister lend all my stuff, But she keeps on breaking them so I hit her and then dad hits me when she hears her cry and even if she is just faking her cries dad still wont listen and call me a liar.

Doctor Perez: So tell me who is JV?

Melvin: JV is my best friend; do you know where he is? Do you know what happened to him? Is he alright? Please mister I want to see him….PLEASE!

Evaluation: after last question the patient acted violently and was given sedatives to be controlled

Note: Patient is suffering from stress and some paranoia, more test should be conducted

Interview #15 (Doctor Perez and DetectiveJune)

Doctor Perez: so what happened?

Detective June: When we arrive at the house, after receiving a call from the neighbors, We heard some screams and some pounding sounds, when we got upstairs the suspect was pounding the face of the victim with a antic wooden figure, the screams we heard was coming from the suspect and its like a sadistic glee of some sort, we engaged and apprehended the suspect, he kept on yelling “Say sorry to JV!” “Say it!” The girl in the other hand, Sustained heavy injury which led to a fractured jaw and skull which later, led to her death due to loss of blood and oxygen.

Doctor Perez: is that so? Hmm…. Hey do you want to have lunch?

Detective June: well I suppose….

Doctor Perez: Great! Do you like pasta?

Detective June: um no….

Doctor Perez: Oh…. Well let’s go to Wendy’s then

Interview #30 (Doctor Perez and Mrs. Wendy Generoso)

Wendy Generoso: Melvin is a good boy, my baby is a good boy! Believe me he is a good boy! Please let me see my baby!

Doctor Perez: Please calm down madam! I’m just asking you these questions so we can help him, now, please calm down, breathe and slowly please answer the question

Wendy Generoso: well Melvin is a good boy

Doctor Perez: I know Mam you already made that clear earlier now please….

Wendy Generoso: Well he is a smart boy he was accelerated to grade 1 at the age of 4 and was accelerated to grade 3 at the same year but due to the age difference with the other kids, it became hard for him to make friends and those wretched kids keeps on picking on him, so that is when my husband and I decided that it was best to put him in a home school program, the teacher is one of our relative who teaches in a university. He didn’t go out that much he just stayed home and watched TV all he did was watch TV even in family reunion he would not go out he will be in his room. He will also eat in his room which got my husband angry, so he disciplines the boy.

Doctor Perez: does he do that regularly?

Wendy Generoso: yes mice are running around his room he might get sick

Doctor Perez: Ah…. Um I mean does your husband always discipline Melvin?

Wendy Generoso: Oh um…. I don’t know I’m always out going to casino and to my friends

Doctor Perez: is that so?… well thank you Mam, is there anymore you’d like to add

Wendy Generoso: Can I see my baby now?

Doctor Perez: I’m sorry Mam you can’t, but you’re daughter is in the funeral homes might want to see you; you could just see her instead….

Note: mother of patient is under stress may cause a breakdown, considering referral.

Interview # 48 (Doctor Perez and Mr. Peter Generoso)

Doctor Perez: So I heard that you hit Melvin is that true?

Peter Generoso: did my neighbors said that? Those filthy liars….

Doctor Perez: No sir, it was your wife now please sir just answer the questions…. Truthfully they may put you away for contempt if you don’t cooperate, I know this is hard, but please, if you could tell something about Smile

Peter Generoso: Okay, Smile was born when Melvin was 7, I know that the boy will be jealous so I decided to buy him a new TV and a new Playstation so he will not get all bummed with the coming of her new sister, My plan worked but with a draw back, Melvin wouldn’t come out of his room so I decided to get the Playstation, still the damn kid wouldn’t come out his room so I have no choice, I have to discipline the boy.

Doctor Perez: Do you know that you’re already committing child abuse?

Peter Generoso: Well do you know any other way I can do it and not spoiling my child?

Doctor Perez: Yes and its called talking sir….Any way thanks for you’re cooperation we will give you updates on the situation, in the mean time; try to talk to your wife and calm her down.

Note: Father of patient should be referred to anger management immediately.

Final Evaluation on case no. 1486422- patient went under extreme stress due to parental influence and environmental factor, the coming of a new sibling also made the patient feel threatened and given him fears that the attention he is getting will be lost, and regular beatings that was given by the father increased the stress on the patient, which also resulted in suppressed anger, developed delusions and paranoia. Evidence of this paranoia is having an imaginary friend, but not the typical type toddlers make, it was an inanimate object in the house, it was their Television which is of a JVC brand which later due to loneliness it was named JV by the patient, the patient should be transferred to my care and have a 4-5 year treatment. Also considering giving the parents some seminar and appointments.

Illustration by: Emil Valdivia

Little monster could not sleep.

“I can’t sleep.”

The little boy asked him what was wrong.

“What’s wrong?”

Little monster answered:

“Something’s bothering me.”

The little boy asked what was bothering him:

“What’s bothering you?”

And the little monster said:

“Read the story again, i forgot how it ended.”

The little boy asked which story it was:

“Which story?”

The little monster answered:

“The story where I woke up from a weird dream of black brick houses trashing the next door neighbor’s house with eggs and toilet paper.”

The little boy answered:

“Oh that! Okay, but you have to promise me you’ll sleep right after I tell you that story, it’s past your bedtime.”

The little monster promised:

“Promise.”

So the little boy got the book and started reading. 

“Once upon there was a little monster named Burko. One night, he had a dream. In his dream, he woke up inside a black-bricked house. He stepped outside and started throwing the neighbor’s house with pink eggs and long, endless, flying toilet paper.”

The little monster was falling half asleep in the middle of the story. 

The little boy continued:

“Burko found a box full of jumping baby rockets. He threw them up in the air. The baby rockets flew up, up and away! He sang “come on aileen oh I swear what he means at this moment, you mean everythiiiiing..” and danced away through the night under the moonlight on the beach, smiling at the waves and the clouds and the stars, and fell asleep. And he lived happily ever after.”

Before the little boy could even finish the story, the little monster was already in a deep deep slumber. 

“Tomorrow, I’ll tell you the same story again. Good night, Burko.”

Said the little boy.

Illustration by: Ray Piedra

“Happy birthday, sweetie!”. 

Her mom greeted her excitedly. She’s got a present. And what a surprise, another lovely doll. Another one to add on to her seemingly never-ending collection.

“Thanks, mom! I love it! She’s the prettiest one I have now!”

This doll was different. She had a long black hair, with dark green eyes and wore the fanciest pink dress. She came with a tiny mirror. She went upstairs straight to her room and played with her new doll.

“I’m gonna name you Esthrya and you’ll be my best friend!”, brushing her hair.

“Oh, you have a hair brush and a cute mirror.” She took a look at herself in the mirror. “Do you want to see how you look like, Esthrya?”

She was playing, laughing and giggling with Esthrya as if the doll was real.
Her mom was right behind the door ajar. She smiled and walked away, content with seeing her daughter finally happy again.

She didn’t really have too many friends. She spent most of her time talking to her dolls, brushing their hair and just about anything if she wasn’t in school. And even if she was, she would bring with her at least one of her favorites. And now it would have to be Esthrya.

“What’s your new doll’s name?” asked her seatmate in English class.

“Her name’s Esthrya. My mom gave it to me on my birthday.” 

“Oh. She’s lovely. I wish I had a doll like her.” 

Her seatmate told the other girls how pretty Esthrya was and how she wanted to have one on her birthday, too. Almost all the girls in the class knew of Esthrya and they adored her.

“Mommy! My friends love Esthrya! One girl said she wanted to have the same doll on her birthday.” she said, giggling.

“Wow! That’s wonderful, honey! You’re having so much fun with your new doll! I’m so glad you like it!” said her mom.

“Are you kidding me? I love it, mom! I love her! She’s my favorite! Her hair and eyes are so pretty!”

“But finish your homework and dinner first before you play with her, alright?”

“Yes, mom.” she answered back.

So again, she went up to her room, shut the door and instead of drowning herself with textbooks, she played tea with Esthrya. 

“Would you like another cup of tea?”, long pause… “and then you say: yes, please. That is how you ask for tea, Esthrya.” laughing.

She and Esthrya went on like this for weeks. Mom thought it was somewhat a good thing to see her daughter at least be happy even if she wasn’t playing with other little girls outside. What mattered was that her daughter was happy.

But in a not-so-faraway kingdom, somebody was not happy at all. Somebody was infuriated about having Esthrya as the new favorite.

Someone envied her. And this somebody wanted to punish her for being the brand new favorite.

This someone lived close enough to Esthrya and the little girl.

She lived on top of the little girl’s drawer. 

She was another doll named Alicia. All the other dolls in their world used to envy Alicia. She had long red hair, her legs were perfect and she had deep black eyes unlike the usual ones which were brown or hazelnut.

She used to be the little girl’s favorite. They always had an afternoon tea (which was fake anyway) and a lot of the other girls in her class also wished they had a doll just like hers.

But that was before the little girl’s birthday. Now everything has changed. Now, she’s just going to be one of the neglected dolls inside a dusty chest. Forgetten. 
“This can’t happen to me! If I won’t be her favorite, then no one’s ever will!” Alicia said with all madness and hatred. She hated Esthrya. She hated the fact that Esthrya even existed. And she greatly hated the idea of the little girl forgetting about her because of the new comer. It just wasn’t how the world should go. 

Ever since Esthrya came into the little girl’s life, Alicia was knocked out helpless just like that. But she had a plan. A very auspicious plan for her, she thought.
It was pure evil.

“No Alicia! You can’t do it!” said one of the forgotten dolls.

“The little girl has been selfish all this time, forgetting all of us has been her biggest mistake ever. She deserves the punishment, Alicia.” opposed another.

One day, the little girl was in her bedroom playing with Esthrya when her mom called her for supper. She went down but didn’t bring Esthrya with her. Strange. But it was just the perfect moment for Alicia.

“Now’s the time, girls”, evil Alicia said.

She started casting a spell, a voodoo chant she learned from her mother way back when. She started humming an unusual and spooky sound, versed a series of words that the other dolls could not understand but knew was dangerous for somebody being casted upon.

“Stop it, Alicia!” said the other doll, begging. But she was freakishly unstoppable. Nobody actually dared to stop her.

They heard the little girl yelling Esthrya’s name from outside the room, she was excited to get back and play with her new doll again.

“Now’s the right time, Alicia”, said the other doll with a smirk on her plastic face.
“Esthryaaaaa…” the little girl yelled.

“Esss..” she stopped. Her heart stopped. She was too horrified to see her room so dark only her music box making a sound from nowhere. 

“Esthrya? Where are you? Why is it so dark in here?” said the little girl, her voice quivering. 

Suddenly, a loud bang from her back came. Her door shut. She tried to scream her mom’s name but no voice was coming out of her mouth. It was like the world was on mute. 

Alicia continued chanting, raising her voice higher and higher and screamed. 
After a one whole long minute of silence, the little girl awoken. Everything around her was glistening, shining as if she were in a different place, like in a fantasy world, just like how her mom used to describe in her stories before she’d go to bed with Esthrya.

Esthrya. Where was she?

“Hello, my dear. Missed me?” said Alicia to the little girl.

“Where am I? Who are y… Alicia? Why are you talking? How can.. How is this even possible? Where am I?” the girl said with all disbelief. It could not be happening, could it?

“Everything’s for real, little girl. This is where you belong now. With us. And Esthrya? Stop looking for her, you’re inside her body now.” Alicia said, laughing with all evilness. 

“Why did you do this to me?? Mommy!!!” 

“Your screams are useless, no one can hear you from that side of your world now. You’ll be here with us, forever.” 

“Why did you do this?” Tears started pouring out from her pretty green eyes.

“We used to be best friends, remember? What happened to us? Ever since that Esthrya came everything just became different and aweful! How could you just forget about us? We were all your best friends!”

“I did’nt know you’d feel this way, Alicia.”

“Well now you do. And you deserve this. Don’t worry, I’m still going to be your best friend, your secret will be safe with me. No one will know you’re here with us”, her eyes were almost grinning madly, amusingly massive as well.

“But I don’t want to be here! I want to be with my mom! With my real friends, in the real world!”

“You don’t have any friends! We are your only friends! I killed Esthrya and replaced her as you so we could all be together from now on! That way, you wouldn’t have to trade us for anyone new. Isn’t that lovely, my dear?”

“But how did you do this?!”

“I learned it from my mother. My mother was once a witch. Before I became a doll, I was a pretty girl just like you. One night, two strangers went into our home to steal things from us and we caught them. They tried to kill us but before they could kill my mother, she casted a spell on me so that I become my own doll and so nobody could hurt me from that day forward. It was the most disgusting thing that’s ever happened to me but I knew my mother did it because she loved me. I assume it was for my own good. But seeing real girls like you made me envy. And every time this jealousy in me grows, the more I want other girls to become just like me. And I’ve had it with you! I envied you for being a real pretty girl and for having a mother. But you just had to rub it in our faces how neglected we’d become every time a new doll comes into your life. Well all that’s over now. You should be happy I did not kill you.”

“Just kill me then! I’d rather die than be like any of you!”

“No. We want you to be with us. Just like us. Forever. Dolls don’t die. We just stay like this for the rest of our little damned lives.”

The music from the music box was the saddest thing she remembered after what had happened. It was also the last lovely thing she’ll ever hear after her mom’s I love you on that night.

They called her Esthrya from that moment on.

Illustration by: Paolo Gardon

Bago ako makarating ng Makati ay kailangan ko munang sumakay ng jeep galing La Salle papuntang Buendia. Pagdating naman sa Buendia ay kailangan ko munang pumila ng isang mahaba at minsan ay matagal para lang makasakay ng FX papunta sa opisina.

Habang nag-aantay ng FX ay nagpapalipas ako ng oras, nakapila, nakikinig ng kung ano anong maiingay na tugtog galing sa trusty old cellphone ko para lang hindi antukin.

Pinagmamasdan ko ang napakaraming taong naglalakad, pipila, nakapila na, nag-aantay ng taxi, nagyoyosi. Mga bibili ng tinapay, shampoo, o corned beef sa malapit na tindahan. Mga barker na nag-aantay rin ng mga parating na FX at van. Mga batang kalye na naglalaro sa daan na animo’y makikipagpatintero sa mga truck at bus. Mga foreigners galing sa katabing hotel na parang wala pang ligo na nag-aabang ng taxi dala ang mga maleta nila (feeling ko pupunta nang airport?). Pinagmamasdan ko rin minsan ang mga plate number ng mga sasakyan, hoping na maka-ispot ako ng TAE-143.

At pinagmamasdan ko ang isang batang babaeng nagbebenta ng sigarilyo sa isang tabi.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang pangalan niya kaya tatawagin ko nalang siyang Elsa (dahil mukha siyang Elsa). Nakaupo sa isang tabi, katabi ang kahoy na lalagyan ng yosi at kendi. Nakatali ang makapal at mahaba niyang buhok. Damit niya’y parang pinaglumaan na ng panahon. Nagmukhang luma dahil sa polusyon ng Maynila at siguro dahil buong araw lang siyang nasa kalye.

Tahimik siyang nagtitinda ng sigarilyo. Parang laging antok ang mga mata niya, hindi niya maidilat ng maayos (o siguro ganoon lang talaga mga mata niya, chinky eyes?). Siguro mga nasa 15 o 16 ang edad niya. Pero hindi ko rin masabi dahil minsan ay mukha siyang matanda dahil mukhang pagod (early in the morning).

Lagi niyang hawak ang isang maliit na radyo na kulay silver. Minsan ay natapat ako sa kanya habang pumipila at narinig ko siyang nakikinig ng Hit Me Baby One More Time ni Britney Spears. Hindi niya kinakanta pero halata sa mukha niya na aliw na aliw siya sa naririnig niya. 

Kayumangging kayumanggi ang balat niya. May mga puti puti sa legs at siko na galing sa kalmot dala siguro ng pagka-dry nito. Habang nakaupo siya sa isang maliit na silya at nakikinig ng radyo ay nilalangaw ang paa niyang may mga sugat sugat, pero hindi niya ito pinapansin. 

Isang beses ay naabutan ko siyang may pinulot na plastic na parte ng laruan. Kulay green. Kinuha niya ito’t nilapit sa mukha niya. Inamoy. At tiningnan ulit ng malapitan. Hinimas na para bang napakahiwaga ng nakita niyang parte ng laruan. At saka tinago sa bulsa niya at nakinig na ulit ng radyo.

Kapag may bumibili ng paninda niya ay may mga panahong di niya ganong pinapansin ang taong bumibili. Tinitingnan lang niya saglit, tumatango, at saka babalikan ulit ang radyo niya kahit di pa niya nabibilang kung sakto ang binayad ng mamang bumili ng yosi. May mga araw naman na binibilang niya na parang bigas ang mga barya sa kamay niya, paulit-ulit at detalyado. Nilalapit sa mukha at saka itatago sa lata niya kapag nasigurado na niyang sakto ang bayad para sa yosi o kendi. 

Wala siyang kasama. Wala siyang kasama kundi ang radyo niyang buong araw lang tumatalak masamahan lang siya sa isang tabi.

Pagkatapos ng mahabang pila ay sasakay na ako sa FX na biyaheng Makati. At kahapon, habang bumabyahe ako ay naisipan kong sumulat ng isang kwento tungkol sa kanya. Si “Elsa” na hindi ko kilala. Si “Elsa” ng buhay ko na napadaan lang sa harapan ko at nakaupo sa isang tabi na nagbigay sa akin ng isang ideya na siguro mas mas interesado ang buhay niya kesa sakin. Magkaiba man kami ng estado ay hindi ibig sabihing walang saysay ang buhay niya. Malay ko ba kung mas marami na siyang napagdaanan sa buhay kesa sakin. Malay ko ba kung mas matanda na pala siya kesa sakin. Malay ba ng ibang tao kung ano talaga ang tunay niyang pangalan at kung saan galing ang pangalan niya. Malay ba ng mga pumipila sa sakayan kung bakit siya mag-isang nagtitinda sa may Buendia at kung bakit siya laging nakikinig ng radyo. Malay ba nating lahat kung anong meron sa kanya.

Ang alam ko lang ay siguro, sa dinami-dami ng taong dumadaan sa harapan niya, nagmamadaling makasakay, umiiwas sa mainit na sikat ng araw, na ayaw mapawisan o ayaw mahuli sa trabaho, may isang “Elsa” sa na steady lang na nakaupo sa isang tabi, nakikinig sa lumang radyo niya at nag-aantay ng mga bibili ng yosi o kendi. At habang ginagawa niya ang lahat ng ito ay pinagmamasdan rin niya tayong lahat at napapaisip tungkol sa kung anong meron naman sa mga buhay nating lahat. 

Malay ba niyang may nagsulat na pala ngayon tungkol sa kanya.

At sa utak niya ay nakangiti siyang nagmamasid sa mga tao. Alam niyang masaya ang mundo niya. 

Illustration by: Elli Austria

Illustration by: Issang Ceballos

Rushing through my head suddenly,
Cutting my breath to a short stop,
Crawling up to my brains
And down through my spine.

Like a thousand needles under my skin,
Ready to cut my own absurdity in an instant.
A feeling so typical yet so obscure,
I am already floating within.

Caught in the usual daze and desolation
I try to escape from the four walls of this room.
I drag myself over and over again
Rejecting the lies that are eating me up from inside.

One by one, bullets start to gleam through my eyes.
This is my flattering faith of repentance.
Choking in a continuous static guilt-trip,
Gloriously destroying me to my deathbed.

I am time-warped inside my mind.
Definitely unsure of where to go,
My shadows placate me in this oddity
I start to scream a hundred black tears to sleep.

Please cheat on me and pull the trigger.
Make the beating stop into its own silence.
Corrupt me to indulge in this eternal aberration.
I have become a poster girl of an all-time wretchedness.

This is my own state of flavored irresponsibility.
Charmed by the silver lines dancing everywhere.
Sailing, flying, rolling, yet abruptly rotting.
I have become numb of the pungent certainty.

BANG!!! There goes my remedy.

I am counting down, going backwards
Going upwards, reaching nowhere, leaving me high and dry.
I start to feel my mother’s womb, seeing red.
I am back to the imaginative strawberry fields of my own ignorance.

Illustration by: Emil Valdivia

Date: Forever

DEAREST MURK,

This is a picture of you and i, my darling. 

I imagine us sailing away. Sail away. Away from a wretched, disoriented, discontenting universe. Away from a wide disarray of fungus earth. With your scruzzy shoes, disorganized look, and with my angel costume. We sail away. Star mobile.

I imagine us flying afloat. Floating towards a sea of clouds, a sea of hopefulness. Drifting through endless possibilities beyond imaginable circumstances. Drinking a cup of bliss.

I imagine us making friends with imaginary trees and playing a guitar underneath. Strumming to the every string. Sing on top of our lungs. At the top of our heads. 

I imagine us laughing. Choking. Happily choking. Like crazy. Dancing. Dancing with stray lights. Running. Running with the blades of air. Chasing. Chasing the faith that keeps us going.

I imagine us playing hide and seek with the moon. Shadows growing from the moonlight. Watching candles grow in gardens.

I imagine us blowing bubbles in the air. Warm air keeps them cozy. Trapping ourselves inside these huge bubbles. Popping them instantly. Spelling our names with it.

I imagine us sleeping. Laying on cold grass, underneath a blanket full of dreams. Surrounded by pillows that would swallow nightmares and angst into nothingness.

I imagine us soaking in the sun’s playful awe. Hands, dirtied with paint of different colors. Drawing funny faces of us on the sand. Take pictures of them in our minds and frame them. Then watch the sunset splash the skies with yellow, orange, pink and black.

I imagine us watching old movies. Keeping old photographs inside a shoebox, hiding them beneath our beds. And when it’s time to throw one each day, we make a wish.

I imagine us tossing our favorite stones into a wishing well. We don’t make a wish. We pray. We pray for better days.

You see Murk, this is a picture of us. And I’m sure you remember the moment we took this. This was during the time we realized how awesome we are when we’re together. And this is as awesome as it can get.

LOVE,

SHIVY

Illustration by: Dondi Fernandez

Once upon a time may isang batang lalaking ang pangalan ay Junjun. Isa siyang bugnutin na bata at mas gustong maglaro mag-isa. Ayaw niyang nakikipaglaro sa ibang mga bata dahil feeling niya lagi siyang aagawan ng laruan. Pag may nakikipaglaro sa kanya sisimangutan niya ito at sisigawan.

“Ayoko makipaglaro sayo, alis!”

Ang madalas lang niyang kasama ay ang yaya niya na masungit rin pero wala namang magawa pag nagmaktol na si Junjun kasi baka magsumbong sa mommy niya, baka mawalan siya ng trabaho. Madalas ay nagrereklamo nalang ng pabulong ang yaya niya.

“Leche talaga tong batang to, nakuuu!!”

Katulad ng mga kwento ng mga mayayamang bata sa pelikula eh, eto si Junjun ay deprived sa atensyon ng mommy at daddy niya. Laging busy sa trabaho at negosyo, palaging may kausap sa telepono, palaging may lakad, palagi siyang iniiwan sa yaya niyang masungit at wala nalang ring ibang ginawa kundi makipagchismisan sa yaya ng kapitbahay niya.

“Ay Linda! Si Bruno, yung guard sa gate? Nag-ismayl sa akin kanina ay!”

Kaya minsan pinagtataguan nalang niya ang yaya niya. Inisip niya kasi baka bagot na bagot na yaya niya, bibigyan naman niya ng bagong gagawin ngayon: ang hanapin siya sa buong village.

Isang araw, habang nakikipagchikahan ang yaya ni Junjun sa yaya ng kapitbahay niya ay naisipan niyang maglaro sa parkeng medyo malayo sa kanila. Walang masyadong pumupunta sa parkeng yun simula ng ginawa yung isang bagong park. Ayaw niya dun sa bagong park. Andaming tao. Andaming bata.

Dala-dala niya ang laruan niyang kotse, tumakbo siya papunta dun sa lumang parke. Lumiko sa right, lumiko sa left, and finally, sa dulo, ay nakita niya ang abandonadong parke. Sa gitna nito ay may isang swing na kinakalawang na at sa tabi nito ay isang lumang see-saw. Maputik ang ilang bahagi ng parke, lagas ang mga damo at may mga malalaking puno.

“Ang sarap dito.”

Sumakay siya sa swing at tinulak ang sarili niya. Kumanta siya ng Rainbow Connection na kanta kahit di naman niya talaga alam ang lyrics ng kanta at nakangiting tumitingin sa mga ulap. Naglaro siya ng kotse-kotse at gumawa ng tunog na “brooom broooooom!!” 

“Psssst. Psssst. Pssssst!”

Napatigil sa paglalaro si Junjun. Narinig niya ng ilang ulit pa ang mga sitsit na yon. Lumingon siya sa right, and left. At nung lumingon siya sa likuran niya ay napasigaw siya.

“Moo moo!!!”

“Shhhh! Bata hindi ako moo moo!”

Kinakabahang tumayo si Junjun ng dahan-dahan na parang bubwelo para tumakbo ng kinausap siya ng isang mamang kakaiba ang itsura. Ang puti ng mukha niya, may mga kolorete at parang laging nakangiti. Malaki ang tyan niya, makulay ang damit, malaki ang mga sapatos at may hawak na mga lobo. Mukha naman siyang mabait na tao. Mukhang maamo.

“Ako si Fargus. Isa akong payaso. Wag kang matakot sakin. Kaibigan ako ng lahat ng mga bata! Nagpapatawa ako, nagmamagic at namimigay ng libreng lobo kapag tumatawa sila sa mga biro ko.”

“Ano ang payaso?”

“Clown.”

“Aaahh.. (nagkunwari nalang siyang alam niya para kunwari ay hindi siya naloloko ng mamang to)”

“Anong ginagawa mo dito mag-isa? Bakit wala kang kasama?”

“Ayoko kasi makipaglaro sa ibang bata kasi baka agawin nila ang laruan ko. At saka ayoko makipaglaro kay yaya, ang sungit niya kasi sakin e.”

“Gusto mo laro nalang tayo?”

“Anong laro?”

“Magmamagic ako!”

“Sige sige! Pero wag mong aagawin laruan ko ha.”

At nagsimula nang magmagic si Fargus. Kung ano-anong mga bagay ang lumalabas sa katawan niya. May kuneho, maraming banderitas, panyo, ibon, ahas, kendi, isdang nasa baso, sandwich, lapis, at isang laruang kotse. Galak na galak si Junjun sa palabas ng payaso at tuwing tumatawa siya ng malakas ang bata ay binibigyan niya ito ng malaking lobo na may iba’t ibang kulay at hugis.

“Gusto mo bang sumama sakin, Junjun?”

“Saan po tayo pupunta?”

“Sa malayo! Sa mga ulap, sa likod ng bundok, sa ilalim ng dagat, kahit saan mong gusto pumunta!”

“Eh wala naman po akong perang pamasahe.”

“Hindi mo kelangan ng pamasahe. Ang mga lobong iyan ang magdadala sayo kung saan mo gustong pumunta.”

“Talaga po?”

“Talagang talaga!”

“Eh kasi po sabi ng mommy ko para daw po ako makapunta sa ibang lugar dapat marami akong pera.”

“Joke lang yan, Junjun.”

“Eh pano po sila mommy at daddy?”

“Wag mo na silang isipin, lagi naman silang wala eh”

“Kung sabagay. Sige sama po ako sa inyo!”

Kinarga ni Fargus si Junjun at kumapit sila pareho sa tali ng mga lobo at pinapikit ng payaso si Junjun.

“Isipin mo lang kung saan mo gustong pumunta at mangyayari yun.”

At ginawa nga ni Junjun. Feeling niya ay mabilis na umikot ang buong mundo at para silang nasa isang sci-fi na pelikula.

Habang naglalakbay sila ay may mga pangyayaring biglang nagflashback sa utak ni Fargus.

Naalala niya ang nanay at tatay niya nung bata pa siya. Naalala niya kung gaano sila kasaya dati. Naalala niya ang ate niya at yung mga panahong naglalaro sila lagi ng habulan at tumbang preso sa labas ng maliit nilang bahay kubo. 

Naalala niya bigla kung paano siya nawala sa gubat at di na nakauwi sa bahay nila kahit kelan at kung paano siya natagpuan ng isang matandang salamangkero na may mahabang balbas at maduming damit. 

Naalala niya kung paano siya natuto magmagic at kung paano siya pinilit ng salamangkerong kalimutan na lamang ang pamilya niya dahil di naman na siya hinahanap.

Naalala niya ang pakiramdam kung paano mawalay sa pamilya niya, at kung paano mangulila sa kanila at ang galit dahil sa paniniwalang hindi na nga siya hinahanap ng mga to at tuluyan na siyang nakalimutan at nagmove on na sa mga buhay nila.

Bitter siya. Tumingin siya kay Junjun. At kinausap niya ang sarili niya.

“Simula ngayon, hindi na ako mag-iisa, lagi na tayong magkasama Junjun, ako na ang mag-aalaga sayo. Wala kanang pamilyang babalikan. Tuturuan kita kung paano sila makalimutan. Tuturuan kita kung paano magmagic at tumawa ng malakas kahit sobrang malungkot kana. Gagawin din kitang payaso katulad ko.”

Tumatawa si Fargus sa loob-loob niya (kontrabidang tawa). Di gaya sa mga pelikulang napapanood natin palagi, for the first time, sa kwentong ito, may isang kontrabidang nagtagumpay.

And he lived happily ever after.

Illustration by: Donna Noda

Such a pretty angel’s horn.

Exhaling a cold, succulent spell.

Your beauty bows before a wretched Earth.

Defining,

Sanctifying a glorified whiff.

♥

Untangled, chained smokes,

Coiling around me.

Down through my senses.

Up on my throat.

High up above.

♥

Soaring to East of nowhere.

I am brazen.

I am a craven.

I am both, at the same time.

Unaware and careless.

I procrastinate.

♥

Disorienting the words.

Delusional prayers.

I am looking at you,

As you stare back at me.

You could be so sweet,

And yet so awfully deadly.

♥

I dive in.

Swimming in a sea of cosmic euphoria.

Toxic, divine comedy.

You swallow up my every exhale.

Captivating.

I’m stuck in oblivion.

♥

I burn.

You rave.

We dance.

Then we fall down low.

And we just won’t understand.

♥

Plunging into billions of orbits,

Up from my head.

I swirl away.

We getaway.

Distanced from a certain certainty,

An ecstasy of awe.