Sugarcoated Sunshine
Illustration by: Issang Ceballos
Rushing through my head suddenly,
Cutting my breath to a short stop,
Crawling up to my brains
And down through my spine.
Like a thousand needles under my skin,
Ready to cut my own absurdity in an instant.
A feeling so typical yet so obscure,
I am already floating within.
Caught in the usual daze and desolation
I try to escape from the four walls of this room.
I drag myself over and over again
Rejecting the lies that are eating me up from inside.
One by one, bullets start to gleam through my eyes.
This is my flattering faith of repentance.
Choking in a continuous static guilt-trip,
Gloriously destroying me to my deathbed.
I am time-warped inside my mind.
Definitely unsure of where to go,
My shadows placate me in this oddity
I start to scream a hundred black tears to sleep.
Please cheat on me and pull the trigger.
Make the beating stop into its own silence.
Corrupt me to indulge in this eternal aberration.
I have become a poster girl of an all-time wretchedness.
This is my own state of flavored irresponsibility.
Charmed by the silver lines dancing everywhere.
Sailing, flying, rolling, yet abruptly rotting.
I have become numb of the pungent certainty.
BANG!!! There goes my remedy.
I am counting down, going backwards
Going upwards, reaching nowhere, leaving me high and dry.
I start to feel my mother’s womb, seeing red.
I am back to the imaginative strawberry fields of my own ignorance.
