Happy Birthday
Illustration by: Lassurdoinpersona
Cast of Characters:
- Jacob: 9 years old
- Katharyn: 7 years old
- Mom: Slut, hates kids but had two anyway
- Dad: Drunkard, jobless, violent and hairy
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Jacob: “Ssshhh! He’ll hear us!”
Katharyn: “Jacob, I’m hungry. My stomach is hurting so much. ” (whispering)
Jacob: “Ssshhh! We’ll eat later but let’s just stay here for now until Mom comes home, okay?”
Katharyn: “Okay.”
It’s been almost 3 hours. The time is 11:14 in the evening. They’ve been hiding under their bed from what they thought was a lifetime monster living in their house. Under the bed was safer than the closet. The monster hasn’t thought of going there. Not just yet.
Dad: “Come out before I get you, you sick little pricks!
“You two can’t hide from me! I’ll find you!”
The lovely sound of smashing and breaking things everywhere was playing again. This monster was hitting almost everything he could see with his trusty old bat. A beer on the left hand, a baseball bat on the right, and a hairy chest was just what the kids needed for them to call him a monster.
He stormed into each room but they weren’t there. He checked the closets. No kids found. He came to the last room. Of course! The kids’ room! And he thought, maybe, they were under the bed!
And they were. Eye to eye they saw his ugly face and his ugly, angry, horrid stare cut straight through their heartbeats and pulses. They were doomed.
He pulled Jacob’s arm. Held it tight making a fingerprint-like violet mark.
Katharyn: “Jacob!”
Jacob: “Hold on!”
Katharyn held so close to her brother that when their Dad pulled him, Jacob also pulled her.
He dragged them down to the stairs, and into the kitchen.
Dad: “I don’t wanna hear not one bit of your voices or else you’ll get a taste of this lovely bat.”
Laughing, holding his bat, he went to the living room. Turned on the TV with the remote, sat in front of it and started chugging another can of cold beer. He was watching The Price is Right.
The sat still. Mom arrived. Drunk and wasn’t in the mood for motherhood.
Mom: “What are you two staring at? Go get me some food! I’m starving!”
Katharyn stood up and went to the fridge to get her Mom some cereal and milk. Placed it on the table and stood beside her just looking at how lovely and yummy the cereals were.
Jacob: “She’s hungry, can you give her some?”
She hit him with her hands on the head.
Mom: “None of you are getting any of these until I say so. Go back to your room!”
Mom dropped dead on the table. Her head slammed on the table, breaking the cereal bowl which gashed her skin. A piece of the porcelain bowl entered her eye socket and Katharyn watched as her mother’s eyes gauged.
Katharyn put poison on her Mom’s cereals. She had been thinking about doing it whenever their parents beat them up or when they starved them or whenever she just realized how they screwed up being parents to them.
For the longest time, they’ve had bruises and scars on their bodies and they have been used to them. Until now.
Jacob: “Katharyn, the bat! Get the bat!”
She hit his Dad with his own mighty bat in the head before he could even grasp what was going on in the kitchen.
He was groggy.
He stood up from his seat with stars and circles in his head. His head was aching.
Dad: “What the F***?!”
Jacob pushed his Dad so hard with all his might he fell through the TV set. He fell on the floor. Eyelids shaking. Sweat and blood was on all over his face.
Drenched in white and blood, they dragged his dad to the kitchen and laid the two bodies on the floor.
Katharyn: “Jacob, I’m scared. What should we do now?”
Jacob: “We’ll celebrate your birthday!”
So they got a bread knife. Katharyn sat over her father’s chest, feeling his shallow breaths. Jacob slowly begins slicing into the layers of skin of his father’s throat. The blood spews as he cuts deeper as they hear gurgling and violent moaning. He picks up speed and mangles the head as it barely dangles from the spine. Their father chokes on his own blood as jacob successfully decapitates him. Katharyn quickly grabs their father’s head and shows him his lifeless body as she smiles at Jacob.
Heads, arms, legs, fingers, stomach, neck, toes, and knees. Sawed them like real butchers. Put them on a tray, and placed them inside the big stove.
Waited for more than 30 minutes maybe. Waited until white smoke almost came out from the oven.
Katharyn prepared the table. Lemonade and bread, and new utensils from her Mom’s China.
Jacob served the hot dish.
Both were so excited to celebrate Katharyn’s birthday with their parents.
For the first time. In peace.
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1:19 AM
Shining wide eyes, almost shimmering against the dim yellow light bulbs and a candle in front of them. They smiled so wide their dry lips almost cracked.
Jacob: “Happy birthday, Katharyn.”
Katharyn: “Thank you, Jacob! This is the best gift ever!”
Jacob: “I kept my promise. This is my surprise present! I hope you like it!”
Katharyn: “I do! You’re the best brother ever!”
Jacob: “Eat up! You don’t want it to get cold.”
Katharyn: “Let’s cut it in two, and then you can have the other half.”
They started cutting up what seemed to be some scrumptious big piece of meat, medium-rare and had a funny smell. Slightly burnt, half-cooked. With mayonnaise and ketchup spread on the head. Sprinkle of sugar, salt, and pepper.
This was dinner for the two indeed.
What a lovely night it was.
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Credits: Toni Legaspi
